You Get a Real Buzz From The Story of you
Ever wonder why the chattering twosomes and moresomes at Starbucks always look so high? Turns out it’s not the caffeine. Talking about yourself turns on the brain’s reward system and gives you a buzz. So it’s no wonder than that you spend do much time rehashing the past, re-imaging the future and retelling your personal story (to yourself if no one else will listen) to make you the hero or victim or whatever suits your rationale or your mood.
All that me-story, though, really just reinforces the presence of identity, and acts like an anchor to you, holding you in place and keeping you from being in the freedom of YOU. It may feel good to rehash some old tale and feel the anger, or joy or vindication or whatever, but none of that is going to feel as good as being YOU. You know this, right? If you’ve been practicing being YOU, you do.
For people who haven’t played with being their YOU, and haven’t felt how yummy it is, the problem with a personal story is that they belief that it is true. Even when, as you and I and the rest of the planet over the age of 10 have experienced, they have repeatedly recast their story into a larger or sharper or simply a different view—like with Santa. Santa to a kid who comes from a Santasy-complicit family totally believes Santa is real, then at some point Santa is not real, and a whole childhood rewriting of Christmas springs up full of resentment at being lied to and how the kid was suspicious all along, then that softens enough that that kid becomes complicit in keeping up the Santasy for younger kids and eventually grows up and spins the same Santasy for his or her own kids.
He Loves Me…He Loves Me Not…How Can They Both Be True?
You and I do that story metamorphous in all parts of life. Here’s a perennial version: he loves me, he’s a pig but at least he loves me, he’s a pig and how could I ever have loved him, I never really loved him when I think about it, I always knew something was off, oh, I met someone new and he loves me…
The crazy part of this is that whatever the currently running version of the story is, you believe is true, despite all evidence and experience that it is really the story of the moment. The reason you believe your story is that the identity you believe yourself to be hinges on the stories you tell to yourself about yourself, and the power that your identity has over you is directly related to how much you believe your story to be TRUTH. When you get that it is all a story, and you have total control over your story, then you can use your story to enlarge your life, and even expand you toward YOU. Though, be aware that at some point, you need to let go of your story to step fully in to YOU. Your YOU doesn’t need a story to defines it, limit it, give it a YOU identity. Your YOU is Everything and has more interesting ways to fill up its time.
Today’s play is to take a look at one of the stories you’ve been telling yourself, maybe about your work or a relationship, your childhood or as aspect of inner growth. Whatever it is, retell your story so that it expands you, moves you into wisdom or feeling more free or expands you in some other way. Then tell it again and try for more expansion. Then again. Keep retelling it with greater and greater expansion until you feel the buzz of YOU. Then, for extra credit points, my crumb-topped muffin, step into YOU and let YOU tell the story about how you expanded into YOU. That buzz from talking about you combined with the BUZZ of being YOU…hmmm, sounds pretty yummy to me!
Blow your friends’ old stories to shreds by sending this to them!