Out of Control and Loving It!

Have you been practicing being You a bit? Expanding into those great feelings that make up You? (No idea what I’m talking about? Click Here) Feels kind of funky, huh, but in a good way. Or at least for most people. Some people are so overwhelmed by the greatness of their You that they get a little freaked out, maybe because they think they don’t deserve greatness, or because it feels too out of control. And that’s just where the ego wants you—trapped in the illusion of control. Which is why so much marketing is geared to the fiction that if you have the right credential, the right hair-care products, the right car, home defense system, financial services, the right dose of Viagra, whatever, that you’ll somehow be in control of Life, which is inherently out of anyone’s control.

It’s a lie, but of course you know that, right? The ego craves control, the way a junkie craves meth. It also craves being Somebody, making its mark, changing its world in a dramatic and extraordinary way, and, it wrongly believes, control is the golden ticket. You can tell this is a lie because when you encounter You, you sink right into your inherent greatness, your real golden ticket, but the ego and the mind (which also seeks greatness and control) yanks you away like your mom dragging you past the candy aisle.

So why, if what your mind and ego want is greatness, would it run screaming when it actually encounters it? Because the greatness of You is so out of the orbit of the mind’s world view, so far outside of the identity that the ego has laid out for you, so gloriously irrepressible, that your mind and your ego would rather choke off your greatness rather than lose control. Twisted, isn’t it?

The thing is, once you leave the orbit of the ordinary world—the world that you have created for yourself—and enter the orbit of the expansive You, everything becomes a paradox. All the bull you have been fed about what is powerful is actually weak, what is considered so very important is meaningless, what seems valueless is critical. It’s what Jesus meant when he said that the meek shall inherit the earth. It wasn’t about being weak and staying under the radar so you don’t get killed, it’s about not buying into the bizarre power structure that we’ve been fed that keeps you on the ass end of power. It’s about stepping into your true power, your authentic greatness, it’s about being You at the cost of being pillaged by the ordinary, but—let’s face it—bizarro world.

What does this kind of You-ness look like? Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, the Chinese guy that stood down the tank at Tiananmen Square. This kind of You-ness is about the forgetting of yourself—the identity you have so laboriously crafted, the personality that you think of as you, all the respectability and fame and reputation you may have spent years developing. All these are really part of the fiction that you make up to fit into this bizarro world. You-ness is letting go of all the limitations and cages and boxes and excuses (what would the neighbors/your boss/your mother/your best friend/your partner think???) of bizarro world so that You can shine through. Some of those people were killed, yes, but none, when they stepped into their You, could be contained or controlled by any of the powers of bizarro world.

Contrast this with buying into the ego’s drive to be Somebody in this bizarro world. Take Donald Trump for example. He’s built an empire a few times over and he’s pretty good at continually reinventing himself. But he’s constructed an empire, an ego, an identity, a branding (love that new bizarro buzz-word—the great paradox of puffing the ego up into an even smaller straightjacket) that is so constricting that he is totally controlled.

Don’t believe me? One slicing phrase from Rosie O’Donnell can flip the guy’s rug, so much so that he has to call a press conference to bluster about why it doesn’t bother him. And don’t get me started on bizarro politics. Politicians box themselves in so tightly that if they happen to grow, to develop, to change a viewpoint, ten million people pound nails in to fortify the politico’s box, and then throw the box under the bus.

Do you want to be Somebody now? If so, go ahead, but don’t say you haven’t been warned. But, if you are more interested in being You (and we’ll talk more about what You are as we go in case you’re still on the fence), then give your You a little breathing room in your life. Choose one thing that you try to control in your life (could be your hair, your kid, your partner, your dog, your co-workers, your moods, the breakfast dishes, whatever) and let go of trying to control it. As you do, you’ll see how that thing that had caused such tightness in your body and your mind starts to become more spacious, more expanded. And in that expansion, see if you can start to experience more You.

Oh, and continue to practice being You. If that makes no sense to you then you need to read (or reread) the last post.

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