I had dream the other night that I was in a large vault and there was someone on the outside that was trying to break the combination lock on the outside while I kept trying to change the combination on the inside. They breached the vault and I ran into a smaller vault and the process repeated itself until I was in a vault about the size of a large trunk and I had my legs up with my feet on the door trying to keep it closed as I was trying to stay one step ahead of the person, who at this point was my brother, and he was beating me at the combination game. He breached the door and I thought, “This is it.” Then Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter Series showed up, as he did at the end of the last movie, and said in his darkly magnanimous way, “If you surrender, I will not kill you and this will be easy.” I woke up then, and since there was really no decent alternative but to surrender, I did, and I felt this very real wave of grace that flooded my body that continued to flood me for over an hour. It was magnificent.
In discussing this dream with a friend later, he said he believed that everyone has a primary antagonist they spend their life resisting or battling. For some it is a physical condition, for some it may be relationship issues or expressing love. For me it has always been integrating my less then lightness—hence the appearance of Voldemort. The grace clearly seemed to be an integration of some sort after I surrendered because in the days following the dream something significant had changed within. It was like the last place I was trying to hide from myself had been uncovered and there was no hiding anymore, it was all on the table of my life and available for viewing.
I can’t say how it will alter my life, just that I can tell that it already has. The trick with these transformations is to just allow them to flow and be what they are without trying to control them or block them or retreat back to a comfortable identity. Life is growth and change, and I have found that the more I simply allow that to happen without interfering, the more profound and amazing it is.