You Loving the Freer You Yet?
So how do you like being a little less buttoned-up? A little freer, less constrained? If you missed that step, go back to here and give it a whirl. If you still don’t get nobody-ness, then no worries, it’s what you might call a Big Deal. Why? Because your whole mind, and all of society, is geared up for you being Somebody, it knows how to do that. It has no idea how to be Nobody, because being Nobody isn’t really part of the mind system.
Oh, and if your toes burst into flame each time you read about being Nobody, it’s because you confuse it with being nobody—the kind of nobody your coach might have called you when you missed the game-winning ball, or the kind of nobody some kid on the playground might have called you because it made him feel like Somebody in a sort of chest-swelling, false pride sort of way. That kind of nobody is still Somebody, because it is an identity you take on (or resist, which is still taking it on in a backassward sort of way that we’ll talk about at some point.) Somebody is all about living out of an identity with its inherent judgments of me and not-me, operating out of a personality with all its incumbent needs and fears, of the labels and opinions and judgments and crap that you limit yourself and your life with.
It’s probably that part that is getting you, isn’t it? The idea that these things are limiting rather than things that you need to navigate the world, to refine, to find “yourself” and your tribe and craft a meaningful life? I understand, especially if you have been playing the “working on yourself” or “self-development” game as long as I have. And I don’t diss that game because it really does help you see how the human operating system works (conscious and subconscious minds, body, gut brain, etc.—which you’ll get plenty of as we go along since I’m a hypnotist, among other fun things, and so messing with the human operating system is part of my game) and how to uncover and transform your personal operating system to make your life better.
I totally get that. I much prefer a life, an identity, a personality and all the labels and such that make my life work the way I want it to work than the much glitchier life I had in the past. But that refining of self is still all about you and the illusion that you—the small you buttoned-up in the coziness of a warm fuzzy sense of being, or taking on an empowering label that helps you start a business or attract a great mate—is what Life’s about. But it’s not. It’s so much bigger than that. You are so much bigger than that. All that self-development stuff is great for getting you into the habit of expanding and once you get into that habit, it becomes so compelling that you just keep it up because it sets you on the road to You whether you realize or not, and being You, even for just a breath or two at a time, just feels so good (to people that don’t get freaked out by the liberation of expansion) that it becomes its own magnetizing force. It’s great, really. Until Life changes the game on you. Like it did on me.
Life, God, the Universe, the Great Mother, whatever you call it, has a wacky sense of humor and a pretty wicked (in a playful way) M.O. of setting you up to win at your own game. Mostly that means that when you are on the road to being Somebody, or Somebody Better if you play the self-development game, it morphs your world to help you slip into that suit and button up tight. But once you have a taste of that expanded You, and you begin to unbutton those buttons and let yourself breathe, really breathe, the gloriousness of Life with fewer buttons, it shifts your personal ship from the trajectory of being a Better Somebody to being Nobody, probably without you even noticing that it happened.
All you know is that Something Big changed, and being Somebody doesn’t work for you anymore—maybe you hit the ten-thousandth self-development wall and you collapse into the knowing that the Somebody track of beating the wall down to another false layer of victory is a vast waste of energy, or maybe you hit Bottom in some way and you feel that fractured mass of Somebody-ness crumble and all of a sudden the air smells different. Or maybe, like me, you get enough of a whiff of your You that you innocently ask the Universe (or whatever) to explore that more, and you get handed a task for which you have few if any Somebody files in your operating system to call on. When that happens, your choices are to run screaming and find a new Somebody-ness quest to distract yourself with, to cobble together the files that you do have and limit yourself to them in an effort to Control who you are and what’s going on, or to show up as the most You you can muster in each moment and surprise even yourself at what comes out of your mouth and who you are as each breath rises and falls.
If you choose the third, like I mostly did, then you and You begin to play in the field of Nobody-ness, where you are not limited by the straightjacket of the labels of your Somebody-ness, you are no longer confined to the knowledge and certifications that your Somebody has acquired. When you and You play with your Nobody-ness, you have access to EVERYTHING. And that, my ickle sweetums, is where this game of Life really shoots off the bizarro world rails. At least for me and Me.
Sounds fun, huh? Oh, and you can spend years and years doing micro-expansions on the self-development path, or some other incrementally expansive paths, because there are lots. Or you can just jump into the mystery of You, by practicing being You, let go of control and let your You begin to speed you into You. It’s much faster, simpler, and way more fun to let You do the heavy lifting of planning and organizing your curriculum of you becoming You. And everyone’s route to their You is different, so there are no rules here, just principles. The first being that the more you practice being You, the more your life will speed up and the more You and you will joyride through life. Does this mean that nothing uncomfortable or unexpected or downright tragic never happens? No. It just means that when you are in those trenches with You it is a vastly different landscape and experience than when you confine yourself to you and the limited you’s around you.
So keep practicing being You—and if that makes no sense, go here. As you practice, notice what your mind is doing. If it’s chattering, then you may be closer to You than you normally are, but your not quite being You. Your You is so far beyond the mind that the mind can’t contain it, so it quiets, at least for a bit. So if yours is making you nuts with commentary, see if you can find a different experience, or intensify the one that you are using. Still not getting it? Sorry about that. More about how to practice your You in the next post.
For now, practice as best you can, and revisit the initial practice & blog post here if you like, and then send this page (or the linked page—which is the first post of this blog) off to a friend or three to scramble their brains, too.